When I first heard about the International Women’s Day Variety Show, I was naturally thrilled. What doesn’t appeal to me about a variety of acts celebrating women’s day? It’s put on by Beijing Independent Artists, and the proceeds go to female entrepreneurs in rural parts of China. All good.
The show consisted of musical performances, dance numbers, and short plays. I heard about it from a friend, who wrote one of the plays in the second half.
I loved the theater. There was a front room with a bar and some random tables and chairs, whose broken-down look with a classy feel reminded me of New York. I was ready for the show.
The first performance was by what looked like a Chinese high school band, except for the white, middle-aged, male lead-singer. In fact, all the members were male except for the drummer. I definitely appreciated seeing an elusive female Chinese drummer, but she certainly wasn’t featured in their one song. I should have known, with an opening act like this, that I wasn’t about to get what I expect.
The next was a dance called Gypsy. It featured three girls with belly-dancing outfits, hip-thrusting on stage.
After that a Russian singer, in a head wrap and African dress, in front of an African sunset backdrop, singing with a saxophonist. She came out again later in heels and a seriously tight black dress singing as the white saxophonist rapped about women. Sometimes it’s hard to be in Beijing, because anyone who can’t make it where they came from can come here and take themselves way too seriously.
Their self-righteous performance was hilarious, but the clinchers of the evening, and why I had to leave early, were the plays.
The first was set in the imaginary world where women get their own parking spaces, “because we have so many shopping bags and babies that we need to be closer to elevators.” In the skit, a cocky, self-assured boy begins on the phone to his girlfriend, convincing her that she’s crazy for thinking he’s cheating on her just because he didn’t come home last night.
The skit centers around dialogue between him and a business woman who is complaining that he’s parked in a woman’s spot. He spends the skit explaining how much he knows about women, complaining how unfair it is that they get any privileges, and congratulating himself for being a stud. She barks at him for most of the play to give her the parking spot, and then eventually starts flirting with him. At the end, they decide to hook up and she calls her boyfriend, demanding that she’s not cheating on him, and then concludes the skit by phoning another friend to tell her she’s about to hook up with a nothing shoe-salesman saying, “He’s not all that, I am.”
Another skit featured two women cat-fighting after they realized they were dating the same man. He stops the hair pulling only to show them martial-arts and Japanese sword techniques. Only after he has enjoyed their fighting do they turn on him and beat the crap out of him before bonding and buying each other drinks. The play ends when he crawls up from the ground and goes off to meet his other girlfriend.
I’ve mentioned how desperate I am for the English language, so you can imagine how painful it was for me to walk away from this night. Of course, as I’ve explained what I was seeing, you can understand how painful it was for me to watch.
I realized later that the trouble is that I assumed that if it was in celebration of women that it would be feminist. I expected to see strong women on stage, talking about things that matter to us, not performing glittery belly-dancing and pseudo-rap. I did not expect to see women clawing at each other over men, or flirting with them even when they’re acting like pricks.
Happy Women’s Day
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