Santa Con

When I heard about Santa Con, an event where strangers around Beijing gather, dressed in Santa Costumes, and bar crawl, I knew had to be a part of it. Kelly and I bought Santa bling from Wal-Mart, including extra Santa masks and hats, just in case we could persuade others to join in the fun.

Santas in Beijing met up in two different spots in the city at pizza places at 12:00 pm. Our meeting spot was in Woudaokou, the “city” area conveniently next to where we live. We decked out in hats, belts, tinsel scarfs, and black boots. The taxi driver was hesitant to pick us up, which made for an interesting cab ride. It probably didn’t help that I sang, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” all the way there.
Kelly was nervous to open the door, but when we looked down at the pizza place, we found we were not the first to arrive. At least 20 Santas were already there, drinking free beer and eating the pizza special. One exceptionally cute baby Santa was sitting on his Santa mom’s lap.

We got a table near the bar and were soon joined by a few of our other Santa friends we knew were coming. Some of us Santas also treated ourselves to the 5Y tequila shots (divide that by 6.8 to figure out how ridiculously cheap that is!) to ease the last jitters.

After about an hour our group of 50 Santas were instructed to head out to the subway. We sang “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” as we paraded to the subway, to the surprise of many Chinese bystanders. We were an even bigger scene in the subway, crowding through the security check, where I put by “purse”, a stocking filled with my belongings, through the obligatory X-ray machine. We sang on the platform, and all managed to crowd onto one car.

I’ve never done the Santa Pub crawl in BK, but one thing that is unique to being Santa, or a crowd of caroling Santas, in Beijing, is that most of the public have no idea what you’re doing. So many of them must have just thought this is how Americans celebrate Christmas. Another difference is that in China there are no open container laws, so many of the Santas, myself not included, chose to bring their jolly juice right on the subway. One of the Santa leaders even had a full bottle of Jameson in one hand, and a bottle of coke in the other.

Now, as I said, I’ve been listening to Christmas music non-stop for weeks, even singing to myself as I bike ride to work. You can imagine my surprise, then, when I realized I didn’t know the words to so many Christmas Carols! “Frosty the Snow Man, …What jolly … happy? Soul?”…

I could surely sing along with the music to any of the classics, but coming up with the lyrics to the second verse of “Deck the Halls”…impossible. We rode the subway all the way to the Forbidden City, which took about an hour including the transfer, and quickly realized that the only songs we could fully sing were “Rudolph” and “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” which was mostly shouting numbers, mumbling, and screaming “FIVE GOLDEN RINGS!” I probably sang those songs 20 times, if not more, before the end of the night.

At Tiananmen Square we met up with the other 50ish Santas from the South of the city. I’m not going to write much about this part on this public forum, but I will say that it was the “buzz kill” of my experience (even though at this point it was 2 pm and I’d only had half of a beer.) I had only signed up for the fun of dressing up as Santa and singing carols and bringing cheer to strangers. I had not signed up for pissing off Chinese policemen. We quickly left and went to the Drum and Bell tower, a really interesting part of the city. (I will admit, though, that having a picture of me and Kelly, dressed as Santas, in front of Mao, is a preserved memory that I don’t regret getting.

Taking the bus to the next bar was also a trip. At the Drum and Bell tower, we were able to go on the roof and look out at the old Chinese architecture. We overlooked old Chinese men who have trained sparrows to do tricks like catching a marble thrown 50 feet into the air, and then soar down like bullet before sharply turning back to their owner’s stand. Outside on that square, we did a “Santa Freeze”, where Kelly and I froze pretending to fight over my stocking. It reminded me of improve everywhere.

Then we went on another Santa Parade, now with all of the Santas together. We went to Hohai Lake, which is now frozen over, to a bar with couches inside of a Hu tong. I sipped mulled wine and met people who all introduced themselves as , Santa _____.
Another mini-parade down a really old and intricately designed ally led us to the next venue. The people here stood outside, taking pictures and clapping as we sang the only two songs we know. The next place had infused rum. I had “apple and cinnamon”, which I swear smelled like Christmas in a glass. Kelly and some Santas decided to go home after this, as it was about 7 but felt like 11 at night.

I went off with some other Santas I knew to Fu Bar in Sanlitun, the quisi-city where foreigners have some nightlife. I ate a questionable “hot dog”, and went on.

(Warning, “beef” hot dog in China means actual beef. It’s like a hamburger wrapped in some type of skin, served with something like mayonnaise.)

At Fu Bar I met some more Santas and enjoyed the atmosphere or being in night life as Santa. The next move was to “crash a house party.” At first I thought this meant a party at someone’s house. Then I thought it meant a club with house music. Actually, it was a club called “House.”

This was one of my favorite entrances, as the club was filled with people just out on a Saturday night, looking their best and not at all expecting a crowd of Santas to tear it up on the dance floor. The next bar was a fancy smancy bar that did not seem welcome to Santas, so we almost left until we discovered a glass door covering the fire escape, which ended up leading to a deck-style rooftop bar and dancefloor with a much more inviting crowd.

Our final stop was a cab ride away to a Hu tong-style bar with a DJ and dancing. Upstairs there was a livingroom-style room, and an open rooftop which gave a great view of the city. By the time some strange guy asked if I was wearing perfume, which sounds even more ridiculous as a pick-up line when you’re dressed as Santa, I was ready to call it a night.

Overall, I’d call Santa Con a success. It was a great way to see more of the city, to meet other people who share my affinity for costumes in public, and to celebrate the Holiday Season!