Some Weddings have Arrows

Some things I’d heard about China are true; none more so than the Chinese devotion to the color red. During Chinese New Year, everything that can be is adorned in red. This is also the case for Chinese Weddings. Everything from the table cloths to the chairs to the favors to the backdrop of the stage to the Bride and Groom’s outfits was entirely red with gold details.

We, the guests sat at round tables on either side of the red carpet aisle. On our tables were bottles of bi jiu (a painfully strong Chinese liquor), cigarettes, and snacks. When the Bride (who was one of the Teacher’s Assistants at my school, named Vanilla), arrived in the doorway, I couldn’t recognize her. Her hair was woven into a headdress eight inches tall and falling past her shoulders. The groom appeared to have an ornamental beach ball tied in back of him. The ornamental gowns they wore, which trailed past them on the ground, made the traditional outfits I’d seen in museums seem bland.

During the ceremony, which had many parts, they honor the sets of parents by serving them tea and calling them “mom” and “dad” for the first time. At the end, the groom is blindfolded and made to shoot an arrow “to the heavens” or up to the ceiling, and straight across for the earth. I was lucky to have my own assistant, L, as a translator or I wouldn’t have had any idea what was going on the entire time. There was a lot of bowing from the couple, and most of the talking came from the “professional speaker”, who seemed like the MC of the wedding. There were some traditions that seemed strange to me, like cutting a piece of hair from each, and tying it together and keeping it in a box.

Some traditions were familiar with a twist of new. Towards the end the couple interlocked arms to drink wine…out of a little wooden shoe. At the end they kiss, which is hard through all of the outfits, veils, headdresses and hats. The guests all clap and shout for them to kiss longer. At times they leaned in for 10 -15 seconds, with no movement of the lips whatsoever.

At the end, the couple makes the western rounds to greet each table, but they do it with a tray of cigarettes and a shot of bi jiu at each.

Most Surprising Event: When the great-grandfather of the groom had to lie down in the middle of the floor. The bride dismissed our worries, saying, “He just drank too much always.”

Note: This wedding happened in October of last year, and it took me until now to write it up. Whoops!